Redefining Myself: 10 Learnings from my therapy
Hey there!
In May of last year (2022), I decided to restart my therapy. Why? Well, simply because I found myself unable to move forward and constantly burdened by a heavy feeling as if I had the unwanted desire to think about everything all at once. This state of mind was draining, leaving me lying in bed for hours, yearning for something highly stimulating to replace the emptiness. While exercise had been my go-to solution in the past, I had already experienced multiple injuries due to overexertion, so I didn’t want to rely on it this time. Thus, I found myself experiencing stress.
It wasn’t the first time I had felt stuck in life and sought external help. Back in August 2020, I faced a similar situation, even resorting to excessive drinking as a coping mechanism. Throughout my mental health journey, I’ve come to understand that as life progresses, we encounter different challenges depending on the choices we make. If, like me, you constantly strive to progress and become a better version of yourself, you’ll inevitably encounter roadblocks along the way, which can be overwhelming, particularly when it comes to your emotional well-being. And that’s precisely where I found myself.
Through my journey, I’ve gained valuable insights and learned important lessons along the way. Here are 10 key learnings I’ve gathered, which may seem simple to many but have been challenging for me to consistently keep in mind.
Be in charge, don’t try to control
Any mental imbalance can trigger a desire to control our surroundings due to fear and uncertainties. In my journey, I found myself attempting to exert control over almost everything, especially those close to me. However, I realized that trying to control what is beyond my reach, particularly my loved ones, only created chaos and strained relationships. That’s when I learned the importance of shifting from control to being in charge. Being in charge means taking leadership of the situation while remaining flexible when necessary. It is an ongoing process, and I continue to work on it.
Practising Gratitude: Nurturing Positivity
Practising gratitude is an absolute must, especially for those of us with chaotic minds and a tendency towards negative thoughts. It’s all too common for us to struggle with seeing the good in life. Even after a day filled with productive actions, a single setback can easily overshadow everything else.
However, I’ve discovered that consciously cultivating gratitude is a simple yet powerful way to nourish our minds with positive content. It enables us to counteract the negative impact of our thoughts and embrace a more optimistic perspective in our daily life.
Letting Go of the Past: Finding “Closure”
Replaying past scenarios is a common phenomenon for people dealing with anxiety or stress. We tend to latch onto these thoughts, repeatedly replaying them in our minds without actually finding closure. It’s as if we’re reluctant to let go. However, holding onto these thoughts only adds unnecessary stress and hampers our daily lives.
I’ve learned that consciously choosing to say ‘Goodbye’ to these recurring thoughts regularly can help us move on. It’s about giving closure to the thought, even if it may initially seem important. By acknowledging that it no longer serves a purpose, we can treat it as trash and let go of its hold on us. It’s time to rid ourselves of these burdens and create space for new growth.
Being Present: Embracing the Here and Now
When our minds wander to the past or the future, we detach ourselves from the present moment, leading to discomfort. While it may not always be possible to remain fully present in every situation, it becomes vital for individuals dealing with anxiety or stress. Consciously engaging with our surroundings is key, as otherwise, our minds can take control. By doing so, we not only embrace the opportunity to savour the present moment but also break free from the patterns of our thoughts.
A simple yet effective trick is to cultivate curiosity and a willingness to learn. There is always something to discover, even in the most ordinary experiences. By approaching each moment with an open mind, we invite a sense of wonder and actively participate in the richness of our lives. This practice helps us stay grounded, alleviates anxiety, and allows us to truly appreciate the beauty that surrounds us.
Listening to Your Body: Honoring Its Needs
I’ve often found myself disregarding the discomfort in my body while engrossed in various activities. Unfortunately, this disregard led to more harm than I could have imagined. It’s challenging for me to prioritize my body’s needs when my mind is preoccupied. It’s as if only the thoughts in my mind hold importance, overshadowing any signals from my body. This manifests in different scenarios, such as pushing myself to stay awake despite exhaustion, ignoring bodily cues to use the restroom, or staying in uncomfortable situations.
Consequently, I’ve struggled to acknowledge and honour my feelings. I’ve suppressed my emotional well-being to the point where listening to my mind’s constant chatter takes precedence over what I truly feel.
To address this, I’ve begun by simply eating when I feel hungry, rather than adhering to a predetermined schedule. However, I must admit that this is an ongoing challenge, and I still stumble on this journey.
Have a Role model
Having a role model is invaluable. Having someone to look up to or even idealize can greatly aid in decision-making. For individuals prone to overthinking, like myself, it can be a challenging task to make choices without the influence of comparison.
Taking Action: Overcoming Procrastination
Procrastination is a common tendency among all kinds of people, particularly those who struggle with their mental well-being. One effective way to cultivate a positive mindset is to take action without excessive overthinking. More often than not, the risks associated with a given task are minimal, yet we find ourselves spending a significant amount of time contemplating it. Isn’t it?
Embracing Openness: Have an open mind around people
I’ve often found it challenging to maintain deep connections with others, whether on an emotional level or in close proximity. It’s as if I perceive their presence as encroaching on my personal space. This feeling can lead to suffocation and, eventually, bitterness towards them.
However, I’ve found a solution that requires dedicated practice: cultivating an open mind in my interactions with people. Allowing them to be themselves and being receptive to whatever unfolds is key. In reality, most of the time, nothing dramatic happens, and it’s our conditioned minds that conjure up worries and possibilities. We’ve grown accustomed to expecting trouble due to certain experiences in the past, but it’s crucial to recognize that those circumstances no longer hold.
Feeling anxious? Observe & affirm
When anxiety arises, take a moment to ask yourself, “Where am I?” Assess the situation and recognize that, in most cases, you are safe. Remind yourself by affirming, “I am safe.” This simple trick can help alleviate the discomfort and distress of those anxious moments.
Acceptance and Growth: Embracing Your Imperfections
I need to acknowledge that all my bad habits are a part of who I am, and hating them will only perpetuate their presence. Instead, I must direct my energy towards a different approach. The key lies in sitting with these habits, accepting them without judgment, and then taking steps to address and overcome them.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while there are many more learnings to be shared, these are the ones I’ve listed based on my personal experiences. Overcoming these challenges can be daunting, considering they have been deeply ingrained within me for decades. Nevertheless, I am confident that with continued effort, I will make progress.
I hope these observations have provided you with valuable insights into your mental patterns. Each person’s healing journey is unique, and I encourage you to reflect on what you have learned along the way.
Happy to know your thoughts in the comments. 🙂
Thank you for taking the time to read.
Keep calm and stay healthy!
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